How to communicate clearly?

Do you ever wonder "what to say" when you head off to a networking event or a client meeting? Do you think it's easier to write an email rather than pick up the phone and have a real conversation? Well you're not alone. When we're busy working at our computers all day, generally alone, it's easy to lose the knack of easy conversation. Let's face it, the cat really isn't that interested in what you have to say. Take a few moments to read a few tips to get talking again…

Effective communication is important when building relationships with clients, customers and the media. A stimulating conversation or well-told story may be the most interesting part of a meeting, presentation or media interview. Even witty small talk with a potential client can evolve into a new business deal or project. Here is a few conversation pointers to keep in mind when meeting or networking.

1. A good business introduction includes your first and last name and the name of your company.

2. Always introduce yourself to those sitting next to you at a business dinner. If possible, meet everyone at your table before you sit down. Sit next to someone you don't know rather than someone you do know.

3. When introducing your guest or another person at a function, mention both first and last names and perhaps an interesting item of information about that person.

4. Before going to an event, business or social, be prepared to discuss items of current interest including books, films, television shows, or current events.

5. You can find your next conversation starter by reading at least one daily newspaper, weekly news magazine, or watching a morning news show.

6. Take the time to get to know others first. People don't care about you and what you do until they know you care about them. Build relationships and trust first.

7. Beware of being a pushy promoter. We're often so passionate and excited about our business or latest project that we talk too much and over sell ourselves.

8. Listen closely and think before you speak. Don't interrupt, let the other person finish their thought before you give your opinion. Learn to do 80 percent of the listening and just 20 percent of the talking.

9. Listen attentively, smile and make good eye contact.

10. Practice the five words that help create and maintain small talk conversation Who, What, When, Where and Why to form open-ended questions.

How to stop the inner critic

Let's face it, from time to time, most of us suffer from critical inner voices. The fact is we often use self talk throughout the day so wouldn't it be great if we could learn a way to transform the annoying internal voices into something more effective.

One of the first useful things to keep in mind is that even if the voice has bad tonality and says caustic things to you, at some level it has something of value for you in mind.

The way you speak to yourself has been rehearsed and then become an automatic habit. This is good news because it suggests you can re-learn and create a more beneficial habit. I'm guessing you've probably tried changing one of those voices by trying to talk to it. Maybe asking it to be a bit more patient or sternly telling it to shut the hell up! This can work but there is a more elegant way that gets better results more often.

If you were to think of one of your annoying internal voices now, just become aware of where it is located in space. You know, is it behind your head, to the left or to the right? And just become aware of how it speaks to you. How does it sound? What are the qualities of the voice? Is it fast speech or slow? Is it a deep voice? How loud is it? By becoming aware of these qualities you discover the structure. This is what holds the thought pattern together; the glue. The fun part comes next when we interupt the pattern and sabotage it! Melting the glue in essence. Have a go with the following quick little technique that utilises the Half Second Rule in order to get the change to stick.

Voice Recorder Rewind Button

1. Select one of those annoying internal voices one last time.

2. Now hear it play backwards like the rewind on a cassette.

3. Try it fast and try it slow. And then hear it backwards, really fast, in less than 1/2 a second. Do it three times.

4. Now replace that backwards voice with a new positive message with a nice, sexy, 'bed room voice' tonality.

Thought processes such as internal voices can be changed easily and quickly when we know how. By interrupting the pattern and changing the structure, our mind becomes able to access more resources, thereby making us feel better, allowing more behavioural choice.